I was experiencing the one-year-into-the-pandemic doldrums 鈥� overall stuck creatively, physically, emotionally. So I bought myself an inflatable dinosaur suit to see if walking around in it would help.
First, a visual. The suit is a brown, billowy T-Rex 鈥� big head, short arms. You step inside, zip it up, clip a battery pack to your pants, and inflate with a little fan that鈥檚 attached to the suit. The head inflates to a height greater than a typical doorframe. I first saw these suits in a viral video of people running in them at a horse track. So silly. I鈥檓 not an adult who dresses up 鈥� it鈥檇 probably been 25 years since I鈥檇 worn a costume 鈥� but I feel a strong kinship with people who dare to be goofy.
I first wore the dino suit for a short walk around the block with my kids. You know, just dipping my toe into being a dino out among humans. My oldest, a middle schooler at the time, was embarrassed and ran away from me when I tried to run after her, which was fun because it sparked my imagination about a big billowy T-Rex chasing after my 11-year-old.
A lot of imagining goes on while you鈥檙e in the suit, and I鈥檝e learned that this imagination encouragement is its main perk.
Some of the imagining grows out of necessity, mainly because it鈥檚 very hard to聽see聽out of the suit, especially if the plastic viewing panel in the dino-neck region doesn鈥檛 line up right with your height. I end up walking around looking at my feet. The dino must hold her kids鈥� hands when crossing the street.
*
I called my mom and told her about the suit, and she thought I鈥檇 lost my mind.
*
One day, I decided to jump on a work Zoom call in the suit to wish a colleague a happy birthday. Someone took a screen capture. In the image everyone is smiling as my dino head bashes into the doorframe on my way into my basement office. In addition to the sight limitations, the suit creates a notable lack of spatial awareness. This lack of awareness is also part of the beauty of the suit.
After a full year of staring at myself on a screen, it felt GREAT not to look at myself. Liberating, even. I have a huge head, tiny arms, wide hips, and a huge backside that hangs low to the ground, and 鈥� who cares? I can鈥檛 see myself. So I don鈥檛 feel self-conscious about my dino body or the out-of-shape human body inside. And not seeing myself is playing a role in me not feeling self-conscious about wearing the thing at all.
*
After I came to this insight, my sister called me to tell me that my mom was 鈥渨orried about me.鈥�
I confess that my mom鈥檚 worries about her daughter-in-a-dino-suit made the experiment even more fun and renewed my commitment. Her concern was also tied to imagination, was it not? Isn鈥檛 worry often a form of imagination? All the way across the country 鈥� my mom lives in the Northeast; I live in the Northwest 鈥� my dinosaur suit was sparking my mom鈥檚 imagination too. The thing was working.
*
I went for a walk with my son one evening after work and I got five honks. That鈥檚 my record.
I can鈥檛 know for certain if the honks were for me because I couldn鈥檛 see the cars, but I definitely waved at the cars聽as if聽they were honking at me. (Only one shouted, 鈥淲oo-hoo, dinosaur!鈥�)
One time a car pulled over beside us and stopped as my son and I passed. I waved. And then they pulled off.
I told my mom about the pullover.
鈥淲hat鈥檚 a pullover?鈥� my mom asked. 鈥淪ounds dangerous.鈥�
I was really missing her. Missing her was part of the reason I was in the dino suit. We hadn鈥檛 seen each other in 17 months. And the truth is I was really worried about her and my dad. They weren鈥檛 in the age or health bracket of people who would do well if they got the virus. We鈥檇 lost a beloved family member on my husband鈥檚 side of the family, so those worries felt more real than imagined.
*
We have had more conversations with neighbors because of the suit. Or maybe what I should say is that my husband and my kids have had more conversations. The whizzing sound of the inflator fan makes it a little hard to hear. One neighbor told us I got a shoutout from someone on the Nextdoor app.
One day I donned the suit and asked the kids to walk me to my office at the university where I work. The building was usually empty because everyone was working and learning from home. Well, wouldn鈥檛 you know, as I was fumbling with my wallet trying to find my ID to get into the building, out walks a vice president. I introduced him to my family. He took it all in stride. In another life, he might鈥檝e been an improv actor, I thought.
Over the weekend I told my mom about bumping into the vice president.
鈥淣o,鈥� she said. 鈥淵ou need to cut this out.鈥� Then she asked me to put my husband on the phone.
I handed my husband the phone. He smiled and said 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know鈥� a lot. I could only imagine what my mom was saying to him.
Then I heard him say, 鈥淧eople do smile at her.鈥�
He is a wonderful husband. Also, that was new information. People are smiling? I knew about my colleagues鈥� smiles from the screen capture, but I鈥檇 assumed those were because I鈥檇 bashed my dino head into the doorframe. I hadn鈥檛 seen smiles from people on the street.
After the phone call, I walked over to my husband who was standing at the stove making dinner, and I gave him a sneak-attack hug from behind.
鈥淐areful you don鈥檛 burn yourself,鈥� he said.
鈥淚鈥檓 feeling encouraged,鈥� I said.
鈥淚 know,鈥� he said, and I imagined his beautiful smile.
Art by聽
